Favor from Barnette Print
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Wednesday, 09 February 2011 09:44

“I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it”, a favorite saying of David Huffman’s. Incidences of trauma require humor. “You can’t do anything about it; you might as well enjoy it” is an excuse for a tall tale. Before Huffman knew Barnette was alive, he would tell clients tall tales about he got wounded for a laugh and to loosen clients into feeling more comfortable. The tall tale goes like this: “when I was in Vietnam I was in the bush most of the time. The women were ugly; they chewed this stuff called betel nut. Betel nut was leaves Vietnamese chewed to get high and to help them with pain coming from their teeth. The leaf was a rich brown. It made the women’s teeth in the bush in Vietnam turn black and purple. They were skinny, flat, and had flat feet. They would sharpen their teeth to points thinking it made them look prettier. It looked dangerous to me. I believe these women were so ugly, President Clinton would reject them. He usually doesn’t do very much rejecting when it comes to women at all. I was getting stressed about looking at them; then along came Jones, I mean Barnette, a brave Marine. He tripped a booby trap; he gave up his life tripping a booby trap in order to save me from looking at these women. I shared it with him and became totally blind as a result. I never had to look at these women again. As for him, he went to heaven for doing such a good deed. However, as everyone knows, a good deed can never go unpunished. I had to pay a price. I could not see the beautiful women in America any longer. That price was costly, but it was worth it; I didn’t have to look at those women any longer, nor did I have sex with those women, as President Clinton would say. Nevertheless, when there’s a down side there’s an upside. I was in good shape most of my lifetime and did have my share of women up close. I was able to receive a close up view of my victims. Little did I know that Barnette wasn’t dead. He was blind for four months. He has one eye that’s bad; and the other eye that is on laser maintenance and may need a transplant. I guess he wasn’t totally rewarded for his good deed; he does have the opportunity to put all the ugly women on the side of his bad eye and leave the attractive women to his good eye. Thanks for the favor, Barnette!”